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There once was a dragon who fell in love with a unicorn. It birthed Bigfoot. Don't ask. Yes, it was messy. Anyway. Bigfoot fell in love with that fake Bigfoot from "Harry and the Hendersons" and they had a baby and his name was John Snyder. Less hair, smaller stature, maybe the fake Bigfoot had been fooling around... whatever. The point is, that dude had a kid with a woman from a similarly unlikely background (only it involved legendary Samurai and the family that invented the process getting sesame seeds to stick to buns) and that kid is the author, Ben. That's who that guy is. And nope, he has abbbsssooollluutteeelllyy nothing to live up to.

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